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I hurl my body at her and again I am easily tossed aside. My strength is too puny to compare to her immense power. I fight and struggle in our one-sided contest until I can’t go on. I gasp for breath. I am spent. The rushing white water reflecting the moonlight washes over me rhythmically. I lay on my back dizzy with exertion, waiting for recovery. During the contest, I’ve drifted a quarter-mile north and need to walk back to my car and clothing. It’s chilly out and I’m naked and wet. I start to walk back, preoccupied. I hear a group of people out for a night stroll on the beach. In a daze, it doesn’t occur to me that I’d appear unusual. I hear giggling and laughter. I look up and all eyes are on me. I scan their faces, three young couples walk arm in arm. One of the young men speaks up. ‘Hey buddy, this isn’t a nude beach.’ General laughter ensues. ‘Yeah.’ I reply nodding my head. The pretty girl he has by the waist smiles at me. This girl has a soul smile. It’s an open welcoming. THAT’S A “YES”. Says I , after all it was in a way though be it a self conscience decision on my part to follow the path I eventually took of my own free will( if there is such a thing in matters like this ) I still believe how I became who I am because of what I mentioned in my previous story that in many ways caused “no “ created Zoë , not that I would want to change it in any way now as I am extremely happy with “Zoë” in my life and is in fact a integral part of who I actually am as a person ,In fact I most probably spend more time now as Zoë than actually as my male self, it is only the fact that one of my sons is a total homophobic bigot. and would never understand why his father is who or what he is would understand , otherwise my other son and daughter know and have seen me as Zoë so in a way I am open and out of the closet but if not for that I would be considerably more out that I am at the moment , not that I think what he thinks would bother.
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